Last year I preached a sermon 'The Shepherd's Heart' which I feel will somehow define my life for the remainder of my days. It was a story about David and Goliath, that wasn't at all about David or Goliath, but a story about sheep...and how as followers of Jesus, our lives and our stories are fundamentally about sheep, they simply must be in order to consider ourselves disciples. It was an interesting take I admit - there were lions and bears, a big mouthed giant, an unhinged fisherman and a laundry door escape plan... but writing that sermon catapulted me into a non-negotiable arrangement of what my life would be about.
Of course when I talk of sheep - I’m not talking about the woolly mammals which cover the hills of my current home, I’m talking about people…living, breathing human beings whom God loves deeply and deemed worth fighting for.
When I think about it…it was probably writing that sermon that ultimately led me here to Ireland. Sure, there were plenty of signs which preceded and followed that time which showed I was destined to be here, but would I have chosen it? What would have pushed me over the edge of reason into this glorious free fall had it not been for that unravelling in my heart?
I have never been burdened for people the way I was during that time. Every word of revelation that dripped into my soul compelled me and yet broke my heart wide open at the same time. I cried while driving, I sobbed over my laptop countless times as I typed each word, I even wept every time I preached it... and to be honest I probably always will.
Because just like David, as one who has been rescued countless times by a faithful shepherd, I can not stand by and not contend for others.
The conviction I personally came to was this...to go through the motions of the task, to show up to church, sing along, to serve and play house with other Christians... is to deliver the bread and cheese without confronting the giant bully wreaking havoc in the driveway.
So many people have been paralysed, pushed back and picked off by an unyielding, yet ultimately defeated enemy. And I was done watching it happen. The burden was too great now.
5 years ago today, I sat in Piazza Navona in Rome and I wept for a solid hour sitting at a table over a pizza. I couldn't understand what had come over me, but the spirit of God spoke to me so clearly "Kristen, Europe is a prodigal place - it was once mine and it will be so again."
And so, here I find myself in Europe. I'm not here for the breathtaking scenery, the food or the good times. I'm here for the sheep.
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